Many years ago my family went through a major financial crisis. My Dad, who had sole control of the family finances, was not managing the money by God’s principles. He was not living on a budget, saving, or being a good steward of what God gave him. This resulted in the money being mismanaged. Like many Americans, he accumulated a large debt. The day came when we had to face our financial circumstances and do something to rectify the situation. That day was scary and difficult. The next few weeks and months were challenging and filled with changes. However, that experience was one of the best experiences of my life. As we submitted to the Holy Spirit, He taught us valuable lessons about money and life. In this new series, “Money Lessons”, I want to pass those lessons on to you.
When you decide to get your financial house in order, the first step is learning to live on a budget. It is not a choice, it is a necessity. Every women, whatever your age or economic level, needs to live on a budget. A budget is a plan. It tells you how much money you have and where it must go. It provides boundaries for how much can be spent in an area. It also provides freedom, because you know that when you need something the money is there. Living without a budget is like trying to bake a cake without a recipe. You can’t keep adding ingredients without knowing how much of which ingredient is needed. In both cases, you’ll end up with the same result—A BIG MESS. Living on a budget avoids the big mess. It gives you a plan to follow to avoid financial destruction. It is an absolute necessity.
The first thing the Holy Spirit led us to do to solve our financial problems was set up a budget. My Mom was completely committed to this endeavor. In the middle of our crisis, she searched for resources and learned to establish a budget. With the help of the Holy Spirit and a resource called “A Guide to Financial Freedom”, she set up a monthly budget. She started the budget with our monthly income and subtracted the tithe. Next, she subtracted our fixed expenses—bills that had to be paid every month—car payments, insurance payments, utility bills, etc. Fixed expenses also included a large amount for debt repayment. What was left was categorized discretionary spending and divided into categories like food, medical expenses, clothing and spending. Each category was given a specific amount of money. When the money in those categories was gone, we were done spending. Over the years, the amounts and categories have changed, but living on a budget has not changed.
Living on a budget drastically changed our lives—FOR THE BETTER. I will NEVER live without a budget again. Rather than being restrictive and oppressive, a budget was actually freeing. Knowing there is enough money to pay all the bills when they are due, releases enormous money stress. The boundaries that a budget provides let you know how much you can spend. If you stay within the restraints of the budget, you can live without the pressure of consumer debt. It is great! Whether you are a teenager with an allowance or a job, or a mom trying to manage a family and household, you need to budget your money. Many money pitfalls can be avoided by living on a budget.
An excellent place to find information about budgeting is at CROWN MINISTRIES. They are a Christian ministry that focuses on helping people handle money according to God’s principles. They have a variety of resources that will teach you how to start a budget. They will help you find a method of budgeting that will work in your life. You can contact them at www.crownministries.org.
This lesson is very near and dear to my heart. No one person should ever have total control or responsibility for the family budget. It is a dangerous trap. First, no one should have that much control over another person. It isn’t healthy. In a marriage, both partners should participate in the family finances. Secondly, it is too difficult a job for one person. There’s too much stress, too much responsibility, and too much temptation for one person to handle. If the rest of the family is in the dark about the finances, they won’t understand the pressure that person is experiencing. They will want things that the family cannot afford. The person left with the sole responsibility will be forced to be the bad guy who has to say “NO” or they will be tempted to go outside the limits of the budget to say “Yes”. There is a better way.
When you are married, both partners should be included in the budget. I realize that there must be one person who holds the main responsibility for the family’s financial affairs. Recently, I heard this person referred to as the “Chief Financial Officer” for the family. This person is responsible for planning the budget, making sure bills get paid, keeping track of family needs and managing the money. Personally, I believe this job belongs to the wife. Why? She is responsible for running the household. She is familiar with the needs of the family and the household. This is my opinion—it is not a rule. In some households, the man is the Chief Financial Officer. If this is the case, he needs to frequently consult with his wife about the changing needs in the family. AND WOMEN! DON’T ALLOW YOUR HUSBAND TO KEEP YOU OUT OF THE BUDGET. YOU NEED TO KNOW THE FINANCIAL STATUS OF THE FAMILY. If you don’t know and participate, you are living in darkness which is an entrance for satan to trap you. Don’t listen to excuses that you are not capable of handling a budget or you are too busy. Get in there and participate!
Whether it is the husband or wife who takes the responsibility for the money, they cannot do the job alone. They need the input, support and cooperation of the rest of the family—especially the spouse. Both the husband and wife need to know and understand the budget. Each needs to understand where the money is spent and saved. They should work together to form a budget. Both parties should be committed to living on the budget. Periodically, they should sit down together and reevaluate the budget and how it is working. When adjustments need to be made, they should consult each other and come to an agreement. Neither the husband nor wife should keep money secrets from the other. The family budget should be an honest, open document. Every member of the family should be accountable to the other members of the family for how they spend family money. Money secrets are just as dangerous to a relationship as sexual secrets. It is a betrayal and they can kill a relationship.
It is also important to include your children in the family budget. Obviously, kids should not carry the stress and responsibility for the family’s financial survival. However, they do need to understand the basic principles of budgeting. They can be taught that God has provided the family with a certain amount of money and that the family has certain bills that need to be paid. They need to understand that although there is enough money to provide family needs, the money is limited. You can include them in the execution of the family budget. They need to be involved so they realize they can’t have everything they want. It will also be a good foundation for them to learn they must always live on a budget. There is no other way in life to manage money. It will teach them responsibility, the reality of money, and that money is not magical.